casey mullins.

(It’s my last month on Baby’s First Year, sad right?)

• I reviewed more than a dozen different brands of cloth diapers and had the pleasure of writing Babble’s Best Cloth Diapers of 2012 (It was WAY more intense that the baby bottle and diaper pail one. Phew!) I also wrote about the world of cloth diapering according to me.

• I’m in a seriously dirty relationship. Downright repulsive at times.

• 10 things my baby hates about you. (If you only read one, this is the one, GRUMPY VIVI FACES!)

• Let’s talk about our periods and then get misty about how much we love our mom friends!

• Selfish, lazy and convenient parenting, dude, you’re right, attachment parenting sounds way better.

• Pound for pound, Vivi eats more than a teenage boy. It’s disconcerting.

When my marriage almost ended two and half years ago, the fact that neither of us placed blame on the other or used our shortcomings as weapons to hurt the other in the aftermath was one of the greatest keys to our recovery.

We had both done things on our own to screw up our relationship and all of those things acted as wedges that pushed us farther and farther apart until we barely even recognized each other despite the fact that we slept in the same bed every night. We could go days without speaking to each other and being sent away for weeks at a time with Addie while he studied for finals seemed perfectly normal. Once we moved to Indiana I learned not to rely on him, school was his first priority and we had agreed to simply stick it out until the end, after all, it was only three years.

Addie and I did everything together. I don’t remember doing many things with Cody that didn’t involve mundane errands on Saturday or church on Sunday. The truth is he was gone all. the. time. so I pushed my way through the loneliness knowing that he was doing it for us and for our future, but I felt abandoned. “He was working hard for us. He was putting in his time now to give us a better future later. This is how he shows his love, he could be a complete deadbeat.” Is what I would tell myself.

I did everything for and with Addie. She was my entire world and I was hers for those three years. She never really expected her dad to be around which was good, because he wasn’t. Cody and Addie have always loved each other fiercely, but he missed out on a grand majority of her life because of school and work. It becomes more and more evident how much he missed as he sees Vivi grow and change.

I can tell it hurts parts of him he doesn’t want to talk about that he missed so much of Addie’s baby and childhood.

I took care of everything because that was my job. His job was to get good grades and get through school, I did everything in my power to make school as easy as possible for him. I wanted more kids, but more than anything I wanted a husband, my husband. I wanted him to notice me and everything I did, I did desperately seeking his approval. When it came to a point where I couldn’t get his attention I became more and more entrenched in the online world. I had friends that lived in the computer that understood me. They liked me. They said nice things to me. They said I looked pretty and they offered words of comfort and condolence when I was down. I was never alone as long as I had a computer and an Internet connection nearby. I began to ignore Cody more and more, our lives became even more distant from the marriage we had once had until finally I decided I could do just fine without him. If he wasn’t going to tell me the things I needed and wanted to hear, I was going to go out and find someone who would.

I had been alone for three years, alone was familiar, being ignored hurt.

He kept promising me that one day things would get better. “After this semester, things will get better. After this year, things will get better. Once law review is over, things will get better. After I graduate, things will get better. Once I’m done with the bar, things will get better.”

Things never got better, and I kept waiting for that magical day when things would, in fact, get better. We wasted three years of our lives together waiting on things to get better, they never did until I decided to leave. I had a plan. I had an escape route. I pulled him aside one Sunday and said “I’m leaving you.” I could tell it hit him from out of nowhere. He truly believed we were fine.

He didn’t get angry. He didn’t beg. He didn’t try to reason with me.

He saw that I had been beaten weary by the last three years of waiting and that I couldn’t stand to be alone and ignored anymore. I had every right to leave, he had every right to tell me to.

But he didn’t. He promised me that from that moment forward I would never go a day without knowing how much he loved me.

We spent much of the next three months in silent recovery. Both scared that one or the other of us would change our minds and leave. We talked about everything, about what a disappointment I must be to him that I couldn’t give him the big family he wanted. He talked about how that didn’t matter, that Addie and I mattered and that more kids wasn’t something I needed to worry about, we needed to worry about saving us and doing everything possible to make that happen.

We moved from our apartment into a hotel for a month as our home was being finished. We decided we’d hash it all out in the hotel, leave it all there and start new in our first home together. We got in a fight one night, shortly after moving in, or perhaps when I was pregnant. I realized that this isn’t  what we do or who we are. I can remember looking up at him screaming “WE DON’T DO THIS HERE! THIS HOME IS OUR SAFE PLACE! WE DON’T FIGHT HERE!” It ended then and we haven’t fought here (or anywhere) since.

I got my husband back in late 2009 and he got his wife back around the same time. We had made it. We had survived the horrible ugly that is the near end of a relationship built on love. We started over. Things are equal now. Things are discussed. Family comes first and as soon as Vivi came into our lives it’s as though she sealed all the cracks shut between the three of us who had been wandering through life without her for the last decade.

I have a good life. I have the best husband I could have ever asked for, I thought I was in love on June 16, 2001. But as I sit here today I am more in love with him and us together than I ever have been in my entire life. We are so good together. We still have our stumbles here and there, he’s learning to be the dad he wasn’t for the first 6 years and I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin and reveling in how far we’ve come.

If there’s someone or something worth fighting for, fight with all you have. Believe that you are worth fighting for as well. You deserve all the happiness life can give you despite the horrible pains and disappointments that will be handed to you along the way. Without the dark we wouldn’t have light. Without the bitter we wouldn’t have the sweet. Without pain we wouldn’t have the relief of eventually collapsing into love and finally, for the first time, feeling like we can catch our breath and be ourselves.

I think the one email/message/question I get the most that I don’t already have a post dedicated to is “WHAT KIND OF CAMERA SHOULD I GET!?” I’ve never written it because I’m still not entirely sure I know what I’m talking about and I’m certainly not the best photographer in the world, I just really like doing it and learning more about it every chance I get.

So after six years, here it is. What kind of camera you should get (according to me.) I add the according to me part because I am only fluent in Canon (I don’t speak a lick of Nikon) and because my mama raised me that you invest in equipment if you’re serious, which I am. Of course I can hand out advice for those who are not as serious, but know that I am a bit of a camera snob. I’m also a flip flop snob. I would rather get a pair of $40 Born flip flops that will be comfortable and last me for several years than a $1 pair from Old Navy that will give me shin splints and only last for one summer. (No offense Old Navy flip flops, I still like you for the gym and the pool!)

by Shireen

Photography is not a cheap hobby if you really want to take it seriously. Expensive equipment won’t make you better, but learning how to use what you have properly and upgrading from there will help. Just like a super fancy stove won’t instantly make you a good cook, it can make cooking easier once you know how to cook. Make sense? I’m all about the analogies lately.

POINT AND SHOOTS

So you just need a camera that’s slightly better than your phone but not a huge investment? Deal, however my advice on this is kind of lame. I’m going to ask you to go to a store and mess with the three dozen different options. If you know what’s most important to you and you are able to go to a legit camera store, they’ll be able to help you with your decision. (Most important for me with a point and shoot is fast start up and having it actually take the picture right when I click the shutter. I also like a good macro (close up) setting.) Currently I use a $160 Kodak Easy Share that does well enough, in the past I’ve really liked Casios. I’ve found that with Canon point and shoots they attempt to make a little camera do too much. In my mind a point and shoot should do just that, point and shoot – leaving you with the best photo possible in whatever situation you happen to be in.

If you’re looking for something a little fancier but not quite ready for a DSLR I would suggest a Canon PowerShot SX20IS camera. Bigger than a point and shoot but smaller (and much cheaper) than a DLSR, these cameras have almost all the capabilities of a DSLR without the need to change lenses. My mother in law has one and I would own one if I could justify such a thing. It can take amazing macros, take good wide angles and has a really good zoom. The f/stop is a 2.8, which to get a DSLR lens an f/stop of 2.8 you’ll have to pay at least $1K (except for the 50mm.) At under $500 the Canon SX20IS will let you take really good photos (it has good ‘dummy buttons’ as my step mom calls them) and have the ability to control the settings when you’re ready to learn more, all without making a huge investment.

MICRO DSLR (Four Thirds Interchangeable Lens Cameras)

These are kind of new. Maybe. They’re they size of point and shoots with interchangeable lenses. Some people like them, I am not one of them. The lenses can cost as much as DSLR lenses and don’t really have that great of range. The most popular is the Olympus PEN camera, I borrowed one for a month and was never satisfied with it. Very clunky and not nearly as convenient as it was marketed to be. That being said, some people really do love the things, if you’re interested see if you can borrow one first or make sure wherever you buy it from has a good return policy, just in case.

DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex)

So you think you’re ready to make the jump into a DSLR? Good for you! Please remember I only speak Canon, so before you go taking my advice go to a reputable camera store and hold both a Canon and Nikon in your hands. Which one feels better to you? There are other brands of DSLRs available but for convenience, let’s just keep it to Canon and Nikon for now. Thankfully almost everything Canon has, Nikon has a comparable equivalent, I just don’t know the Nikon lingo.

I need to work on fitting back into those jeans.

The most current and basic DSLR (at the time that I write this) is the Canon t3i, the body alone is around $600 depending on where you buy it. You can get kits that come with a kit lens and this is where my camera/flip flop snobbery comes in. Yes. The kit lens is only about $150 more, but it’s not going to take you very far and you’re going to get very frustrated with it if you intend on taking this photo thing seriously. If you do get better and someday want to upgrade that kit lens is going to be $15o of dead weight that you’ll never be able to unload. IF IT WERE ME, I would get just the t3i body and the 50mm f/1.4 ($370.) I would practice and practice and learn what I like THEN add another lens depending on what I wanted. Wider angle? More macro ability? Better zoom? I’d also rent or borrow the lens I was considering for a week before really making the leap (especially if it was a super expensive one.) I have a $500 zoom lens and a $1,700 wide angle zoom and I swear to you I use my 50mm 90% of the time. (I also wish I would have gotten the 15-35 f/2.8L instead of the 24-70 f/2.8L, FYI.) It’s worth it to save up for a few extra months to get something that will last that you really want.

The next level of Canon camera bodies are-

• 60D – $899 (body only) Faster shutter speed and faster continuous shooting than t3i (the new 60Da has an infrared sensor…which is cool, but not really worth the extra $600 unless you dig infrared photography.)

• 7D – $1,549 (body only) Faster shutter speed and faster continuous shooting than 60D

• 5D – $3,499 (body only) Higher megapixels and full format (meaning it actually takes 4 x 6 photos rather than having to do an awkward crop.)

I had a 40D before which served me well for five years until I outgrew the ISO and bought a 7D in January. I could really care less about the video capabilities, but that seems to be the norm on most cameras these days.

LENSES

Kit lenses (the ones that come in the box or with a “kit” or “set” on Amazon or in the store) don’t bother with them if you can avoid it (see above.) I know this is the not possible for everyone starting out (what do you mean money doesn’t grow on trees?) but it is my advice to everyone. Just something to keep in mind.

My 40D and 17-85 f/4-5.6 IS, the good ol’ days.

The smaller the number the more stuff you’ll be able to get in one frame. The bigger the number the farther it can/does/will zoom. The widest lens I have is 24mm. The longest one I have is 300mm. This post shows the focal lengths of Canon lenses. (See the red bands on all of her lenses? That means they’re L-series, which means they’re made of really good glass and that they’re really expensive. Here’s a post about L-Series lenses.) If you like shooting people, here’s a visual on using different focal lengths when shooting people.

Check out the difference between these two photos:

This one was taken with my 24-70, I was using an off camera flash (another thing for another day) but see how the bushes behind her aren’t very out of focus?

This one was taken with my 70-300, I was standing so far from her I had to practically yell at her to move the way I wanted her to, but see how much better the background blurred even though the f/stop is so much higher? Standing back and zooming in let me get a lovely blurred background without having to use a thousand dollar low f/stop lens. It’s a great way to “game” the lens you have to get the effect you want.

Before I had my 50mm f/1.4 I had a 50mm f/1.8 ($100) and before my 28-70mm f/2.8 I had a 17-85mm f/4-5.6 IS ($599) and I’ve always had a 70-300mm f/4-5.6 IS ($450.) I miss the wide angle of my 17-85mm sometimes. The next lens I’d like to get is either a 60mm f/2.8 Macro ($429) or the 85mm f/1.2L  ($2,049) I feel as though I have all my basic bases covered with the lenses I do have, anything else would really just be a luxury. One lens is never going to do everything you could dream, want or desire, so you have to figure out what’s most important to you and how much you want to spend.

FLASH

You don’t need a really fancy flash. You just need something that shoots out light and can be set to a manual setting. I have the 430EXII ($279) which is probably a little more flash than I need but I bought it before I knew that more money doesn’t make a better flash. If you want to go off camera there’s several different ways to do it (I use a Pocket Wizard.) A lot of people poo poo flash which is what I used to do, but natural light isn’t always available or pretty so sometimes you’re going to have to use flash. Even though you may hate it, you may as well learn how to use a flash so you can use it right when the situation arises unless you have the power to control natural light which is something I certainly don’t have.

A flash used properly.

EXTRAS

I got a battery grip for my 7D ($58.95) and LOVE IT. It allows me to have 2 batteries to power my camera (had to purchase an extra battery separately, I just got a generic) and it gives me a second vertical shutter release. I’ve had to charge my camera three times since buying it (Including the very first charge.)

Macro adapter ($50) let’s me take macro photos with my 50mm. It’s not AS NICE as a real macro lens but it’s much easier to use than an extension tube and far cheaper.

(without)

(with)

Lens filters. In case you missed it…THIS IS WHY WE USE LENS FILTERS.

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Holy crap that was a lot, and it took a really long time. I hope it helped you. If you still have more specific questions, please ask so I know what else you’d like for me to cover. If someone would like to translate this into Nikon, be my guest. xo (Also, all links to Amazon are affiliate so you can further fund my habit by enabling yours.)

There are very few words to describe Addie as she is more of an experience. Like stepping outside on a surprisingly windy day with a handful of balloons, they twist and turn trying to take off in the wind and eventually bop you on top of the head repeatedly. As she’s gotten bigger it’s harder to capture the very essence of her in a photo since she’s learned to be hammy and cheesy whenever my lens is pointed in her direction.

But, oh!

When I do get her.

It’s like capturing her childhood and giggles in a beautiful little jar and being able to hold onto them and enjoy them whenever I want.

I told her the other afternoon that someday there would be songs written about her hair. Wonderful songs that make you want to dance and twirl until you’re dizzy and out of breath.

This wonderful little creature that I call mine is like the most spectacular puppy, long gangly limbs desperately trying to manage some sort of order as she bounds into life headfirst with nothing but love and affection for everyone and everything in her path. She still has strong opinions on managing evil fairies and the proper attire for a princess all while refining her taste in boy bands and the latest dance moves.

Every afternoon she pulls her sister into her bedroom to play. While Vivi chews on Barbie legs and and bangs teacups together, Addie orchestrates grand adventures where she is the pirate and Vivi is the shark. Sometimes Vivi plays the role of baby princess while Addie plays the grownup princess who is forced into marrying someone who is most definitely not her true love. Vivi is adorned with necklaces, crowns and capes, all of which she tears off and throws to the side. Addie never minds, she continues on in her marvelous little world of make believe where everyone falls in love and unicorns really do exist.

My friend Lisa makes magical things for magical little girls like Addie and very lucky moms like me.  And  her newest fine pewter collection makes that a reality for many more families on a budget. All the handmade beauty of her silver pieces at far more affordable prices. Sign up for her newsletter on the bottom right corner of her site for a 15% discount on your first purchase.

Addie is my star and my heart and thanks to Lisa I carry her with me wherever I go (Vivi is back there too, self portraits of necklaces are hard.)

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Giveaway closed, thanks to all who entered and congrats to BeyondNormalMom for winning!

To enter, subscribe to Lisa’s newsletter and leave me a comment telling me you did (lying gives you gas.) You can also tell me what your favorite color is if you feel like it. Mine is dark yellow at the moment. Giveaway will end at Midnight EST on Mother’s Day. Good luck!

So this post I did last month about what I’ve learned so far about taking photos almost every day this year was pretty popular (by the way, I fixed the little glitch that didn’t let you pin an actual photo.)

“MOAR! MOAR PHOTO POSTS!” you cried. (Well, some of you cried, and I want to help you! I really do!)

Now that it’s summer and you’re going to be out in the bright sunlight (hopefully) a lot you need to make friends with your shutter speed and ISO.

The brighter it is outside the lower your ISO needs to be. The darker it is (usually inside) the higher your ISO needs to be. (The lower the ISO the better the color saturation and less noise/grain.)

Example:

(Seriously, no worse lighting than high noon sun, in a perfect world I would have moved them into full shade.) 55mm f/3.2 1/640 ISO 100

If it’s darker? You need to move your ISO up.

(This is in Addie’s gym with nothing but overhead florescent lights.) 300mm f/5.6 1/100 ISO 1600

Back to the bright sunlight. ISO 100.

If you keep your shutter speed too low (assuming you’re shooting on manual) your shutter will be open too long essentially blinding your camera, like flipping on a bright light to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, everything is blurry and white. If you turn your shutter speed up not only will it catch motion faster, it will retain more of the details since the shutter is essentially “blinking” much faster. Dude, I’m not even sure if that makes any sense. VISUAL!

The first shot my camera said “WHOA! TOO BRIGHT! CAN’T PROCESS SO MUCH LIGHT!” and way overexposed. By making the shutter speed faster I was able to retain more detail and avoid overexposure. Shutter speed also controls how well motion freezes. The higher the shutter speed the better the freeze. The lower, the more blurry moving objects tend to be.

50mm f/2.5 1/160 ISO 1000 (ISO was high because it was a very overcast day, I wanted to keep all of his face in focus which is why I didn’t drop my f/stop into the 1′s to make it possible to lower my ISO.)

50mm f/2.2 1/800 ISO 200

Here’s the deal and something I had to learn the hard way, there’s no way to get everything you want out of a single camera or a single lens for a decent price. Even if you have heaps and gobs of money to spend you’re still not going to be able to have one “end all be all” set up. You have to choose what’s most important to you and base your purchases off of that and learn to game the other things you have into doing what you want (more on that later.) You’re not going to be able to get a sharp photo of a cat launching off the couch indoors in poor light without a flash, and if you use a flash you’re most likely going to compromise the depth of field (blur.) You’re also not going to ever find a lens that can take a really close up macro of a flower then zoom across the street to take a photo of your kid’s face riding their bike. You’ll discover as you get better at this photography thing that you’ll wish your camera or lens did something just a little different. I know with my zoom lens I wish I had a lower f/stop so it worked better in low light. Sure enough, there’s a zoom lens with a lower f/stop but it’s $1K more, weighs 9 pounds and is the size of a small keg, so I make my 70-300 f/5.6 IS do what I need it to do as well as it can do it and I realize there are some shots I just won’t ever get with it.

The best thing I can tell you to do is mess with your camera. Mess with it until your family asks if it’s broken because you’re fiddling with it so much. Turn the ISO up, turn it  down, then move the shutter speed around and see what happens. Soon the strange choreographed dance between ISO, f/stop and shutter speed will begin to make sense (I’m 6 months in and it’s just barely starting to click, full disclosure.)

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Tomorrow night (May 10th 8pm EST) Clickin’ Moms is hosting a twitter party around the new book “Beyond Snapshots” which is all about getting your camera off the green square “Cody” setting and onto bigger and better things. There will be prizes (so many prizes!) and you’ll be able to ask questions (so many questions!) I’ll be there, snooping around, answering what I can. Perhaps you’ll join us? Find out more from Jill (and see the prizes!) and RSVP if you think you can make it.

As usual, my offer still stands of a free trial or 20% off a membership to Clickin’ Moms.

Get a free trial with the code ‘MOOSHTRIAL’

Get 20% off with the code ‘MOOSH20′

Hope to see you tomorrow night ’round the twitters!

Thanks to Clickin’ Moms for having me as an ambassador and providing me with a membership to the Clickin’ Moms forums. All links to Clickin’ Moms are affiliate.

I watched this:

Then I looked back at these:

Then I did the ugly cry because I KEPT WATCHING IT.

But I do have to wonder if those Olympic moms ever had to tell their kids not to stick toys in their baby sister’s butt cheeks when they were in the bathtub together.

P&G left that part out.

Vivi and I have a routine. Our routine involves naps, snuggles and a shared appreciation for the culinary delight that is the avocado.

I have the stamina necessary to pack a 25 pound baby everywhere and carry a massive camera around.

Athletic? Nope. Not so much.

Vivi and I? We enjoy our downtime.

Then there’s these other people we live with.

You know, that guy over there who ran a half marathon after training for…well. He didn’t train, he says he trained for four days but what that really means is he called me on Tuesday and said “Hey, what are we doing Saturday?” when I said nothing, he then said “I think I’m going to run the Mini.”

And then he did.

He finished in a totally average time and even more impressive? He didn’t die. Hooray! He mapped out a very detailed “Pre-Race Checklist” which included “Prevent bloody nipples.” Considering running a half marathon this weekend? Check out Cody’s four day couch to 13.1 mile training plan.

Then there’s this other kid, who obviously takes after her dad.

See that giant rope hanging from the ceiling in the middle of Addie’s giant gym?

THIS IS ADDIE CLIMBING IT (to the top) USING ONLY HER ARMS.

Seriously.

I’ve gotten at least 4 stars on every song in Just Dance 3, I dare say more than half are 5 stars. *bows*

I’m really proud of these two.

Cody’s recruiting people to run the Mini with him next year, when his secretary asked “Is Casey going to do it?” Cody replied “Casey doesn’t run.” to which I responded “I run away from bears.”

Cody then offered to dress in a full bear suit and chase me through the streets of Indianapolis so I’d run the Mini. He even offered to growl, he also said there was a very good chance we’d make it on TV.

I’m still considering his offer.

Whew! Two birthdays a bit of depression (I’m feeling much better!) can make a girl fall behind. Sorry about that. Cody’s still been chugging away at his new found blogging hobby and is out of his mind with worry and stress about pageviews! ZOMG THE PAGEVIEWS! I had to sit in a parking lot and talk him down from a ledge about the pageviews. THE PAGEVIEWS! Poor guy. (Curious about what’s with all the slideshows? WHY SO MANY SLIDESHOWS!? Here’s why.)

• “Dude, your husband. He’s not a very social guy, WHY IS HE BLOGGING?” I know, right? Turns out he has a few reasons and it’s really been a learning experience for him (blogging, NOT LIKE LAWYERING AT ALL.) Here’s a few reasons why he’s doing it (and despite one “helpful” commenter, it’s not for ‘egocentric motivations.’ Check out Cody’s response. HE’S ALL MINE PEOPLE.)

• Turns out I have the cross examination skills of a seasoned lawyer, all from motherhood. I’ve never seen Cody more impressed with my existence.

• When Cody found out I was pregnant with Vivi the first word out of his mouth was a very loud “No!” (Here’s why.)

• I’m very well aware that there are times Cody needs to chill the hell out and thankfully he’s got plenty of ways to do just that. (Two of them involve me, one of those two involve making out with me. *ehem*)

• The importance of pain, and also the importance of our girls participating in sports.

• Have you ever used your kids to bully another adult? Addie became a pawn in a gross neighborhood game of tattletale.

• Ever wonder what family vacations with a history major/nerd would be like? Here’s 20 historical places he’s determined to drag us to take us as a family no matter how much we kick, scream and demand the beach. (See also: Watching movies with history majors/nerds is truly awful sometimes.)

• Try not to be jealous of these delicious culinary treats that Cody prepares on occasion as he rounds up 15 meals any dude can make for his lady friend on Mother’s Day, maybe circle one and send it to your husband so you don’t end up with boxed mashed potatoes like I did one year? (His cheeseburgers really are quite delicious.)

• I spank, Cody was spanked, we all spank naughty kids (of our own) when all the other options have been exhausted.

So Vivi doesn’t really like cake. Or balloons.

But she ate enough Mexican food at lunch to convince me that she is in fact my daughter.

She had a wonderfully simple birthday.

Her friends sang her Happy Birthday, something Addie has always hated.

Vivi seemed pretty thrilled with the whole idea.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes. One day I’ll be able share with her how many people have loved her since before she was even born.

Cake from 111 Cakery, inspired by Sweetapolita. White dress from Target, floral jumper from Paulina Quintana via Zulily.

(new here? read this first.)

Daniel here. Welcome back.

I attended an art parade a few years ago, taking lots of photos and videos. As I was packing up and heading out, I turned the corner and witnessed this scene. It was hard to resist taking this photograph. It appeals to me in so many ways, most significantly, it’s surrealism.

I’m never without a camera. In the past, it was a conscious decision to carry one. Heading on a big road trip. Flying somewhere new. Heading into the city. Or on a perfect cloud day.

Now I don’t always have to think or plan. I’ve taken some pretty cool shots with my iPhone. I take photos when I go running. On my way to meetings. Out with friends. I’m always prepared.

I’m always fascinated and amazed by witness or amateur photography and video during major events – sports, natural disasters, bloopers, Tosh.O, etc. You never, ever know what’s going to happen in life. I think that’s why I always like carrying a camera.

When I was younger (and even now, sometimes) I used to want to be a photo journalist. Someone that traveled to really diverse locations around the world – wars, natural disasters, extreme climates, you name it. I wanted to explore, experience and engage with local cultures. My camera would bring that world alive.

I don’t exactly live that life, but my camera does bring my world to you. I love photographing in new environments. Clouds. Airports. Cities. Food. Rarely people. Lego. Racing. And the natural landscape. And I love the unexpected. Like this shot.

I still remember this moment like it was yesterday. It was a moment I had to capture. And now I’m bringing it to you.

Long time no see! So, how are you? Me? I had a baby. She’s really cute. And it’s not just me that thinks so. Pretty much everyone is enamored with her to the point that going out in public is a big spectacle.

You know what else is a big spectacle? My six year old coming home from Kindergarten, throwing down her backpack, holding up her middle finger and proclaiming “HUNTER DID THIS TO ME ON THE BUS.“

*deep breath*

So I remember flipping my dad off once, okay, so I don’t actually remember the flipping, I just remember staring down at my tiny feet attempting to dodge my dad’s enormous ones as he tried to pummel some sense into me. (To be clear, my dad didn’t smack me around or anything, let’s just say they didn’t have parenting books back then that told you not to freak the freak out when your kid does something super naughty in complete innocence.)

Then there was the time she came home and asked me if girls really had to take off all their clothes to kiss boys. (Thanks again neighbor boy!) Or the time she asked me what ‘sexy’ meant. Or there was last Tuesday where she asked what the “I’M NOT GOING TO SAY IT BUT THE FUH WORD” meant.

Thanks to all those books I have that my dad didn’t, I calmly replied “That is a word that is a thousand times worse than the ‘S’ word (the ‘S’ word being “stupid” score one for innocence!) and if you ever say it to anyone your face will melt off.”

If her eyes weren’t huge when I told her it was a thousand times worse than stupid they were practically water towers by the time I finished telling her the fate of her face if she were to ever utter such a word.

What? The books just said to stay calm and not make a big deal out of it, how am I supposed to remember what comes next?

Today I had to explain cremation, last month I had to explain birth, breastfeeding and umbilical cords in a span of three days. In February I had to explain drag queens and someday I’m going to have to explain a lot more…and until I’m feeling the pressure of her little inquisitive eyes? I at least know to stay calm.

(new here? read this first.)

Casey here, and I’d like to think I know a thing or two about sadness.

There’s the sadness that comes from losing something you love, losing someone you love or watching someone you love lose something or someone they love. There’s the sadness that can come from chronic or temporary physical pain and the sadness that can come from a broken mind playing horrible tricks on your existence. Sadness can happen when you watch your favorite sports team lose or when you watch a friend win something you’ve wanted for so long.

On the surface it’s a crummy thing to be an expert on, who really wants to be familiar with all the facets of sadness? It’s like being an expert on all the dodgy and dangerous streets in a dodgy and dangerous city. However, the wonderful thing that comes from being familiar with sadness, just as the wonderful thing that comes from being familiar with dodgy streets, is that you can find your way back out that much quicker. Even better is that you are able to help others navigate the streets.

There is a visceral reaction in my heart whenever someone says they’re sad.

It doesn’t matter over what.

Sadness isn’t just something that can be told to feel better or turned towards the bright side. It cannot simply be taken away or glossed over. Sadness must be picked up and cradled, much like a mother scoops up a child who just turfed it for the first time on cement. It needs to be held close, until it is ready to leave. It cannot be forced to leave. It cannot be reasoned with. But it can be fed, hugged, supported, written about and talked about until the sadness is ready to become strength. And from that strength grown out of sadness comes empathy. And from empathy comes the ability to get love others around us more deeply, be they strangers or friends.

And when we love each other more deeply the world becomes a much less scary place and sadness holds a far less icy grip around our weary souls.

I’m Daniel and that’s me on the far left. No not really, but let’s pretend it is.

I crashed this wedding. But I at least brought all these balloons. I introduced myself as Marty Biesler, owner of Biesler Balloons. I said I was the second cousin of the bride. No one questioned it. Plus I had all these balloons. Purple one’s. The color of royalty.

I navigated through the reception handing them out. I had so many of them, that it looked like I had a float following me. People were in awe and took them as if they were gifts. The reception was a sea of purple. The sun sent it’s ray’s through the balloons giving everyone a royal glow. Magic.

I/Marty watched this magical moment of laughter, dancing, toasting as balloons floated, wandered, be-bopped through the night. The night was unforgettable. Love, memories, champagne, jazz, dancing and Biesler Balloons.

Slowly, balloons drifted up into the sky. One by one they left the reception. Every now and then, guests would catch a balloon crossing the view of the moon. A little balloon with string drifting across the moonlight like E.T., phone home.

Then I/Marty Biesler climbed back in a 1927 Model J Duesenberg and drove home.

The End.

I like to make up names. I have my favorite DJ names picked out. And I have these alter ego names selected. Marty Biesler has been around for almost a decade. In my mind, he doesn’t look like he does in this photo. But he is the type of guy that would bring a thousand balloons to a wedding, uninvited. And then stand off to the side, enjoying the spectacle. He and I are similar.

Kurt Vonnegut has this great quote: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

I pretend to be a lot of things. I am a lot of things. Sometimes I’m not sure which is which. I’m me, I’m Marty Biesler, I’m DJ Inspecta Collecta, I’m a husband, a father, a friend. Sometimes I’m great and sometimes I’m just not. What a struggle.

But one day, I’ll bring a sea of balloons to a wedding. Marty would want me to.

(new here? read this first.)

Happy 2011. I’m Daniel.

I’ve become obsessed with desserts. In fact, I’ve become quite the expert. It happened shortly after I stopped drinking booze. Apparently I still needed that sugar. So I started looking at sweets in a new way. Cheesecake seemed appealing. Crème Brulee beckoned. Carrot cake called.

I’ve always enjoyed dessert after dinner. But, in the past, I typically opted for an after dinner drink instead. Limoncello would look longingly at me. Grappa gaped. Scotch stared. And as a result, I always went for a liquid option as my reward. A piece of pie would only get in the way of some ouzo. Gulp.

I gulped some good stuff too. I became a huge fan of scotch – Scapa 16 yr single malt being one of my favorites. I embraced rum with enthusiasm, often bringing back Cuban Havana Club when traveling overseas; It’s sweetness and smoothness – definitely a dessert. And I went euro bling from time to time, with a Louis XIII de Rémy Martin. I made the most of each sip. I knew how to order a drink. And I often felt the cruel effects of a hangover.

I’ve not had a hangover since switching over to cakes, pies, cookies, ice cream or chocolate. In fact, I’ve never felt better. Now, instead of sipping on a scotch on the rocks on my couch, you’ll find me on that same couch stuffing my face with a chocolate croissant, filled with strawberries and whipped cream.

Now that’s what I call progress.

(Casey here…hi!)

Walnuts tear up my mouth.

I know because there is a pie at a restaurant in Salt Lake that has a filling similar to cookie dough that is simply filled with walnuts.

It is a delicious pie, but the next day my mouth is very sad. I’ll spare you the details, because they’re gross. But I’ll still eat walnuts on occasion, until I remember why it is that I don’t eat them.

Band-aids make me break out in a perfectly shaped band-aid rash. Especially when I’m pregnant. In fact, anything medically stuck to me while I’m pregnant leaves behind these horrible itchy rashes. I once spent a whole day in a hospital while seven months pregnant and it was quite a shock to see the dozens of red welts from where various medical devices had been stuck to me.

Kiwis make my mouth tingle. Avocados make my throat itch. But I don’t really care about those, because kiwis are delicious and avocados are akin to perfection.

My little kid is allergic to carrots. Nothing else, just carrots. If she eats them she barfs. And carrot barf is gross.

I wonder how many people throughout her childhood are going to attempt to feed her carrots only to have her look up with her big blue eyes and say “but I’m allergic to carrots.“

“Sure you are kid, sure you are.”

But she really is, so if you try to feed her carrots? You’re keeping her for 24 hours. Because as I mentioned, carrot barf, gross.

I used to tell people I was allergic to cigarettes and that’s why I didn’t want to smoke or be around smoke. Saying I was allergic always went over better than “I think it’s a gross disgusting habit and I hate smelling like an ashtray.” I once saw a girl at an Italian restaurant send back her fettuccine because it had pepper on it and she was apparently allergic to pepper.

Allergic to pepper?

Not going to lie here, I’ve used the allergic to pepper excuse, even though I’m not. I just hate pepper and don’t understand when chefs surprise you with a giant splotch of it on top of your food. Tell me it’s there in the menu and I’ll ask you to leave it off, surprise me with it?

I’m allergic.

(new to this blog? start here. new to the 30 d. of t.? start here.)

Hey, I’m Casey, and I’m supposed to tell you something I hate about myself.

But see, here’s where I tell you that I don’t even let the word hate into my vocabulary. Okay, so that’s totally a lie. I use the word hate, BUT I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. And I don’t use it around my daughter. Okay. So I try really hard not to use it around my daughter. If I had to narrow a situation down to the word hate? It would be stepping in water in clean dry socks. I hate doing that.

As far as hating things about myself? That’s not going to get me anywhere good. Not to mention I did it for over a dozen years and it landed me nowhere that could be considered awesome. Those nowheres including, but not limited to, the hospital, therapy and in really dysfunctional relationships. So for the sake of this post and for anyone who is already emotionally fragile I am not going to say I hate anything about myself. Things I’d like to change? Sure. Things I need to do a better job of accepting? Absolutely. Hate? Nope.

However, in the spirit of this whole project I will tell you that I’m a little disappointed in my complete and utter inability to participate in hypotheticals. I am thoroughly convinced that I would never make it through law school because it consists of really stupid hypotheticals that I’d be paying a whole boatload of money to think about.

Paying money to decide the outcome of a completely false situation. I read those “choose your fate” books in fifth grade. I was always the kid that read the last page so I’d know exactly which story lines to choose. This little inability to play along with hypotheticals drives my lawyer husband UP. THE. DAMN. WALL.

Today he asked me which of the destinations I would choose to visit that have been featured thus far on this season of the Amazing Race. My response? None of them. They were all either cold, ugly, smelly or waaaay too busy. Call me when those racers end up on a beach in Tahiti. I mean, okay. If someone else is paying…no. Nope. Not going to work. I don’t know too many people who would get geeked out of their mind to go to St. Petersburg. So maybe Daniel would. In fact I know he would. I would give my trip to him and his wife. They deserve a trip, even if it is to Russia.

My inability to stick within the parameters of a Cody given hypothetical leads him to massive eye rolling and frustration. Why would I pretend to choose between eating cereal or eating spaghetti for the rest of my life when it is NEVER GOING TO COME TO THAT? Besides, why cereal or spaghetti? Why not sushi or pancakes?

So there. I wish I could do hypotheticals better. But to be honest, I am the best weasel outer of hypotheticals ever. I dare say there isn’t a single one you could get me to agree to right out of the gate. Unless it was something stupid like “Eat ice cream forever or lose a leg?”

********************************

I’m Daniel and I will write this entry. I will finish it.

I’ve procrastinated for weeks on this post. I’ve started it countless times and written lots of drivel. It’s either been way too personal or severely lacking in any personality. This is my final attempt. I will write something.

What do you hate about yourself? It’s a simple question, but so tough to answer.

I thought about sidestepping this one with some humor and wit. But I won’t. So here goes.

I’m incredibly hard on myself and I hate that. It creates personal feelings of inferiority, unrealistic expectations and easily misinterpreted social situations. Aside from the general feelings of negativity, it’s enough to drive me crazy.

This way of living has resulted in some amazing accomplishments and experiences in life. I can only say that because I’m going through this writing exercise. I never take time to reflect on the positives of things. It’s not healthy. It’s insane. It’s not reality.

I’m capable of easily outlining the critical aspects of what I do or who I am. We could be here for days. I could easily point out the horrible things I’ve done, mistakes I’ve made, or opportunities I missed and so on. Easily. I actually do that very well.

But there’s no balance. I can gloss over the positive things I’ve accomplished or initiated. I can justify why they occurred – it was luck, it was others, it was too easy and so on. But I’m incapable of finding the healthy balance in processing this. One accomplishment is quickly erased in pursuit of the next.

I hate this because it’s had a big impact on my life. I’m not fully aware of how lucky I am in all areas – my wife and son, a home, family, friends, colleagues, projects, creative outlets, opportunities, you name it. There’s something to be said about stopping to smell the roses. I hate that I don’t. I hate that I don’t give myself a chance. I hate that my actions are shaped by this way of thinking.

All is not lost. I’ve given this part of me a lot of thought the past few months. I’m aware and taking time to soak it all in.

And today, I’m telling you.

Casey here, Daniel and I are going to throw a little something different into the mix. There’s this thirty days of truth meme floating ’round the Internet and I figured Daniel and I could do it in a way no one else could. Daniel wasn’t totally stoked on the idea, but I know he’ll surprise himself. We’re certainly not doing thirty consecutive days, we have lives you know.  We may even change a couple of the topics. That’s what makes this so fun. Enjoy.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

(new here? read this first.)

Hi readers. I’m Daniel.

You may not recognize this through the fog, but this picture was taken on the grounds of the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I worked at the IMA until February for just over 5 years. It was a wonderful journey filled with unforgettable projects. That’s easy to say now. At the beginning, I certainly couldn’t see the path. It was kind of hazy.

Most things in life are like that. You start on a journey, not exactly sure of the final outcome. Along the way you make the right choice. You make the wrong choice. You adjust. You keep going. That’s the way it is. I’ve been surprised in life by a wrong or right decision drastically determining a destination. There are decisions I wish I could take back. And there are decisions I could have not made better.

I’m incredibly thankful for my opportunities at the museum. When I joined in 2004, I know that Linda Duke (Director of Education) had taken a risk in hiring me. There were times where I felt I was in over my head, days where I went home never wanting to return and countless moments of self-doubt. Often, I simply went through the motions, trying to do what I thought was right. I’m glad no one ever gave up on me. Then one day, things just kind of clicked and there’s was no going back.

I’m proud of the projects I participated in at the IMA – a trip to Cuba, a video series with the Louvre, an exhibition featuring an eastern mole, a pretty cool blog, The Nugget Factory, lots of websites,  ArtBabble, and hundreds of videos. It was an incredible five years and an experience I could never had predicted. Especially when I first started.

I’m in a newish job now, I’ve got a new baby, I’m trying lots of new projects and I’m trying to make the right decisions in crafting my next journey. Along the way, I’ve learned that the haze disappears. I’ve learned that persistence is key. I’ve learned that you don’t arrive in a short time. I’ve learned to be patient (maybe not). And importantly, I’ve learned to surround myself with brilliant people. I would never get through the haze without them.

Casey’s turn.

I haven’t left my house enough over the last 11 weeks to enjoy much of anything. I have been so consumed with keeping myself and the baby in my belly safe that going outside seems to be too much work. There are too many noises and not enough soft places for me to land outside. It seems as though the last 11 weeks have revolved around soft things. Soft places to sit, soft places to sleep, soft things to wear and soft places to recover from the overwhelming emotions that have nipped away at my spirit like birds pecking away at a peanut butter and seed covered pinecone.

It’s surprising to me how bright the world has become, some of it is a side effect of hormones surging through my body and a lot of it is the amount of time I spend locked away in cool, quiet darkness where the sickness isn’t able to get to me as easily. There are times when I look out my window and wonder if God has turned up the world’s exposure two stops, there are other times I wonder if it’s simply the sun burning away at the ozone and POW KAPOW! the world ends and who thought it was a good idea to bring more children into this world anyway?

I spent the last week in Toronto. The truth is I cried at least a dozen times because I was so scared of being away from everything and everyone I knew. I choked on the tears and forced them down because who cries when they are handed amazing opportunities? Me, apparently. More specifically a pregnant me. I have become so protective of myself when it comes to where and who I choose to spend time with, it’s instinctual. And somewhat crippling.

Every winter since I have lived in the midwest there comes a point where I mourn the loss of sunshine, however this winter the same fear isn’t staring me down with the same anticipated terror. I know darkness. I have been enjoying darkness. And not in a deep twisted way, but in a self preservation way…I am ready to spend the winter curled away growing a tiny human inside of me. This has become my biggest focus. Grow this baby. Love my family.

When the flowers and the leaves come back, so will I. Very symbolic.

(new here? read this first.)

Hi, it’s Casey, and never in my life have I been afraid to perform in front of a crowd.

I started in drama and theater when I was in fifth grade, our group performed for my elementary school. I was cast as Captain Hook in Peter Pan. A singing Captain Hook. I remember an especially rude sixth grade boy coming up to me in the library and saying “you didn’t actually pay money to do that crap did you?” Well the truth was my mom paid and I would have her pay again, because I liked doing it and I didn’t see his rear end up there doing anything theatrical.

My love of drama and performing continued through Jr. High and High School. I played Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird I performed in a very watered down performance of McCavity from “Cats” (which is where I met my first real boyfriend) and in high school I ended up in Arsenic and Old Lace and Much Ado About Nothing. I played a role originally written for a man in both plays. (I was Dogberry in Much Ado About Nothing. Shakespeare holds my heart, it’s one thing to learn Shakespeare with the knowledge of iambic pentameter, it’s entirely different thing to memorize a the lines of a chronically drunk Shakespearean character.)

A partner and I even made it to the Utah State Drama Competition my Junior year with a scene from Baby with the Bathwater, the only problem was that by then I really was a bit of a drunken Shakespearean character in real life and instead of heading South to where the competition was being held, we drove North…to Idaho. Sure we missed the competition and our chance at fame, but we had some excellent pancakes in Lava Hot Springs.

I miss performing, I have taken to karaoke since it’s really the only chance I have to use all those skills I spent so much time learning in my younger years. I have on my life list to perform on stage again. And it will happen. And you’re all invited.

I am Daniel Incandela.

Talk about a frightening image. This conjures up a lot of anxiety. Public speaking.

Here’s my take on public speaking. I hate it, but I rarely turn down an opportunity. It’s painful, stressful and scary – but I’ve always managed to make it.

Those of you that know me would probably say I’m quiet. That’s mostly true. I like efficient communication. To-the-point. Blunt, even.  It doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to say.

I’m also okay with silence. It drives people nuts so I try to be aware of that. I also like awkward, so there are some opposing issues here. I’m far from perfect.

And standing in front of others at a microphone is a challenge.

About a year ago I delivered a keynote presentation on Museums and Technology in Wellington, New Zealand. I was honored to be asked but scared to death. I had done lots of other conference presentations but never as ‘the’ presenter. I couldn’t turn down a trip to Kiwi land, but…

I knew this might be my only opportunity to deliver a keynote so I wanted to go big – either with a major meltdown or a major victory. Honestly, as i walked to the podium i didn’t know which it would be. That was a scary walk.

I’m most happy during major challenges. I enjoy testing myself, growing, learning and achieving.

I researched the sh*t out of this presentation. I researched what other museums were doing. I researched NewZealand. I researched popular culture. I researched presentations. I wanted go big.

I wrote in Indianapolis. I took my son on walks and practiced my presentation. I wrote on the long flight. I wrote on the beach. I practiced in my hotel rooms. I arranged and rearranged.  I wrote and rewrote. I PowerPointed (do I hear gasps?) – but I hate PowerPoint, so they were more like graphic elements. I didn’t fly 7000 miles to read stats, bullets or quotes. They would have to hear me talk.

And talk I did. Probably for 65-70 minutes. It felt like 5. It was a leap of faith.

My presentation in Wellington ranks as one of my proudest moments. On the topic of museums and technology, I managed to work in a personal video introduction from Kiwi IndyCar driver Scott Dixon, several Flight of the Conchords references, a nude body paint video and a lot of quiet sense of humor. Everything just clicked.

As I walked to the podium I told myself this was it – a moment to rise, an opportunity to be proud, an experience to remember. I left to the applause of 300+, a polite grin and memories that will last forever.

Here’s to more microphones in life.

(new here? read this first.)

Aye, I’m Daniel.

These are Scottish steps. Dumbarton one’s. Treacherous. Slippery. Uneven. Beautiful. Harry Potter-esque. I made it up and down without falling.

I love steps. I have apathy for elevators. Escalators kind of scare me. Especially if I’m wearing flip flops. I try to avoid ladders (corporate one’s are different). But I’m all for going up.

I’ve climbed lots of steps, just like you. And I’m talking physically, spiritually, metaphorically and other big words. What is next?

I’ve climbed steps to on my way to big meetings. Onto to a stage to give presentations. Boarding a plane (which I did at 5:40 this morning). Sight seeing in new places. At soccer games. Funerals. I’ve helped friends move. Double decker busses. I always go up and down stairs if I’m running. I watched in awe as my son mastered climbing the stairs. It’s hard to avoid them.

Steps take us to the next thing. They improve. They indicate ascension in more ways than one. It’s growth in some form.

When i reflect on the steps I’ve encountered, I experience a variety of feelings. There have been steady one’s. Joyful. Sad. Funny. Regrettable. Ground breaking. Humiliating. Beautiful. Stupid. Unforgettable. Frightening. Life changing. They’re taking me somewhere unknown.

It’s odd. I’ve never really known what i wanted to be when i grow up (in most ways).  I’m almost 38. I may never know fully. I’m aware I have a long way to go. There’s room for lots of improvement. It’s hitting me now more than before.

But, I’m ready for what’s next. I’m ready for steep steps. Dumbarton one’s or not.

I’m Casey and I have a confession that nearly ended my relationship with my sister.

I didn’t like the “Lord of the Rings” movies. I don’t even think I forced myself to sit through the sequels after wasting seven hours of my life in the first one. (Three, seven, it’s all the same when it comes to cinematic torture for me.)

I remember reading “The Hobbit” when I was in fifth or sixth grade. (Hey, I liked to read.) It was easily one of the most magical and quotable books I remember reading. Closely followed by A Tale of Two Cities, Rebecca and Jurassic Park. I had the Shire imagined in my head down to the very last detail along with Frodo, Sam and Gollum (Sméagol if you’re nasty.) Everyone. Then Peter Jackson came along and told me how he saw the Shire and I immediately wrote him off as WRONG WRONG WRONG.

And Elijah Wood? Really? Maybe it’s because I was told by another girl who looked like Gollum that I in fact “looked more like Elijah Wood than any other person she had ever met.” that turned me off to him being cast as the legendary (and only real) hobbit of my youth.

My relationship with my sister survived (thankfully) until Avatar came out.

Oh Avatar.

Blue monkey people that can’t seem to keep their mouth physically shut for any activity. Breathing, talking, yelling, grunting, complaining, chanting…mating their hair with seven legged horse things.

Oh dear.

Here is the part where I admit that most movies that go over well with the general public? Don’t go over so well with me. I physically avoid movies that have won more than two or three awards of any kind. Only rarely have there been exceptions to this rule, and the only one I can think of at the moment? Life is Beautiful, or La Vita è Bella. The only way to watch it is with subtitles.

And while I’m certain anyone in their right mind has seen it, if you haven’t, rent it and if you don’t know anything about it? DON’T READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT before watching it. Just watch it. Promise?

(As a bonus today my friend and roommate Jessica from the Type A Mom conference in North Carolina saw this photo when I  saw it for the first time, her version of the story is below in the comments.)

(new here? read this first.)

Hi. It’s Casey.

I took this picture with my point and shoot while lying on the ground at my friend Emily’s house. The way the sun was streaming in making such long shadows on the wood floor out of the Little People strewn about was poetic. All Emily saw was a mess, but really? It was lovely. Imagine what I could have done with my 50mm set to 1.4, or even a sweet f/22 shot.

But I didn’t have my DSLR. I had my point and shoot. So I took the picture to prove a point, that it didn’t matter what kind of camera you have as long as you take the picture. I’ve taught this is more than three classes about this very topic, the whole “The best camera is the one you have with you.”

Well I’m here to call my own BS.

My best camera is my DLSR and frankly I get a little cranky sometimes when my point and shoot won’t do what my DSLR can do.

My brain thinks in aperture, in shutter speed and focal lengths. Not in preset settings where all you have to do is point and well, shoot.

When I picked this photo two weeks ago (oh, about that? Daniel was in Japan, I’m in North Carolina, I got pregnant, Daniel had sushi, football season started…we were very busy.) I had intentions of writing about toys and simple little things that can easily be looked at as beautiful things, like the shadows of strewn about toys.

However, aside from my issues with not having the camera I wanted to take this picture, I can’t stop looking at the crumb. I’m so sorry Emily. I can tell you now Internet that Emily is a very good housekeeper and the stray crumb comes at the expense of having four children in your house for a long time (one of them being mine.)

But the CRUMB. What is it? Cracker? Cake? Yellow Froot Loop?

I DON’T KNOW. But it’s all I can look at.

I could have photoshopped it out, and you never would have even known it was there.

But given that the whole picture makes me grumpy in the first place with it’s whole auto f-stop setting of 3.5 I wasn’t about to bother with photoshop for a crumb.

I guess the good news is at the moment it happened, the moment the sun was setting, I was able to admire the shadows and the light. It wasn’t until after the fact I noticed crumbzilla.

Maybe it’s like a really good wedding, everything is lovely and beautiful and it isn’t until the pictures come back that you notice a sauced Uncle Carl photobombing the bride and groom…

I’m Daniel. It’s nice to meet you.

A few things I want to say about this image. I’ve noticed that Casey shoots a lot of things vertically. I’m not sure I would have ever noticed that if we weren’t collaborators. I’m going to ask her about that. Actually, I’m asking her through this blog post. It’s official.

This is a very vertical image. It starts with the cowboy – who’s standing there with a purpose, like a tall drink of water. His shadow adds a lot of length too. The hardwood flooring brings the eye in. It’s a silent scene, but I feel like it had been chaotic moments earlier. His horse ran off. This picture had to be vertical, it had to be long. It’s consumed with empty space in the lower 2/3′s creating a slight uneasiness. It’s not a traditional composition and I love that. This cowboy was up to something.

I’m a big fan of flare in photos. I might have read somewhere once that it’s considered a bad thing. I don’t really care. I like what sunlight does when it peaks over something. And I like to capture that too. In this scene, the sun saw everything.

I also hold shadows in high regard. They’re not quite at the cloud status of coolness, but I do enjoy a nice, long shadow. I feel like cowboy here agrees. The shadow adds a little mystery. And that shadow ain’t saying a word.

The scarf on this cowboy isn’t lost on me either. The cowboy stands confidently in a deserted living room as the sun sets. His nemesis is lying behind him. A tumbleweed passes in front. And his scarf sits contently on his broad, cowboy-like shoulders. This cowboy is the real deal.

So that’s my assessment of the scene. What’s yours?